On growing up, and new Joseph Joseph chopping boards


I moved into my current house two years ago.

At first, I loved it. Living with strangers, all in our twenties, in a mildew-infested house? It's like a sitcom! When I first entered this house one of my housemates was an actor, and another worked in a museum, literally. It couldn't BE more ideal. Imagine all the hilarious times we'd have, eating pizza days old and laughing at our mould-infested bathroom knowing that however bad this house ever was it wouldn't change the fact it was in zone 3 and we still only paid £450 a month for it! I threw myself into it with gusto, even starting up a secret affair with one of my housemates for good measure. If I was going to do this, I was going to do it properly. After all, what is the point in doing literally anything if you can't get an anecdote out of it?

Two years down the line and the housemate I had a secret affair with and I are now moving in together by ourselves into a Proper Flat. I moved in to this house in a summer, and that was more than fine. But then the winters came. I sat up at night too cold to sleep and watched my own breath form a mist in front of me. I began to sleep with my coat and gloves on in February. After never having a chest infection in my life I had four within ten months. Everything is so grimy, all the time, even when it is clean. If you've ever lived somewhere as cheap as I have, you will know exactly what that looks like. You spend three hours cleaning something, and it is still grey. It will always be grey.

When my sister and I were teenagers we used to spend hours on end wandering around department store homeware sections dreaming about our adult life, a habit we have both carried on to adulthood. Our favourite brand is Joseph Joseph. One day we'd be so modern and cool that we'd live in swish places and have colourful kitchenware and it would feel expensive and fresh! In the midst of a seaside town during a recession it was a mere pipe dream, and even as I hit my twenties, as I chopped up my chicken on a seven-year-old yellowing chopping board purchased by a mystery ex-housemate that was originally £2 from Wilkinsons, I never thought it could be me.

Well, reader, I went into TKMaxx, and today, all my dreams came true, as I got two Joseph Joseph chopping boards at a pretty chunky discount, all ready for my new flat:

The little one cost £7.99, and the big one cost £12.99. So we're talking £21 for two seriously luxe chopping boards. They are so bright and they are heavy and they just feel like something a proper adult would have. I love them so much. You can even use them in 4 different ways! You can chop like normal, and they can collect crumbs to keep your work surface tidy, and you can even use it to POUR GRAVY. And look, they even have a bit to carve your roast on!

I had to tear myself away from TKMaxx as I'm currently in the process of trying to throw away two thirds of my stuff (more on that perhaps another day) so now is not the time to go shopping, but the kitchenware selection in there is sick and I will certainly be heading back.

So, you might be wondering. I haven't blogged in six months. Why am I suddenly inspired to write again? Why are chopping boards the one thing that have broken my writers' block?

As I left TKMaxx, I found myself fantasising about my new flat and standing in the kitchen drinking wine and cooking dinner for my friends whilst chopping stuff up on my chopping boards. I imagined my friends admiring them, and asking where I got them from. I imagined how these chopping boards were going to make people realise that I am a real grownup that can do real things. I remembered my childhood dreams of owning colourful chopping boards, and thought to myself - well done, Abi. You got there. You've had to go through a lot to get to these chopping boards, but you did it.

The rush I got from this thought process felt weirdly familiar, and then it hit me.

This is exactly how I used to feel a few years ago about buying a new dress for a night out.

And then I reflected a bit about how priorities change over the years and in some ways it is very, very sad that I don't really get excited about nights out anymore and instead get excited about kitchenware. And in some ways I COULDN'T CARE LESS, It was great being young and not caring about kitchenware. I had the time of my life. But we must carry on moving into the future rather than forever staring at the past, and I am so happy that my future has me and my new chopping boards in it. Now, off to search for knives that will match.

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