20 Years of Easter Sunday Number Ones


Despite the fact that arguably rising from the dead is far more notable than being born, no one seems to pay Easter number ones the same attention as their Christmas counterparts. I thought I'd have a little examination of the Easter Sunday number ones of prior years. Clearly all these bank holidays has left me with too much time on my hands.
If you're short on time, let me leave you with this one bonus fact: in 1989, Like a Prayer by Madonna, arguably the greatest song ever recorded, was number one on Easter Sunday.

1996 - The Prodigy, Firestarter

As a child this song terrified me. I'm afraid I still don't really *get* The Prodigy and would listen to Meghan Trainor over them any day of the week. This is why I didn't get on very well when I used to promote for Fabric.

SCORE: 3 cute fluffy Easter bunnies out of 10.

1997 - The Chemical Brothers, Block Rockin Beats

People of my generation romanticise the 90s but at times I think all we can remember is 1999. To me this just sounds like a lot of old rubbish. I hope that if I had been in my twenties back then I would have gone to the kind of clubs that just played extended megamixes of Who Do You Think You Are by the Spice Girls all evening.

SCORE: 2 tiny yellow chicks out of 10.

1998 - Run DMC Ft Jason Nevins, It's Like That

Finally, a veritable Easter banger! This song is pretty good and as far as I remember always went down well at a school disco. For an extra dose of nostalgia I recommend you watch the video and play close attention to the brightly coloured joggers and ridiculously high necked t-shirts.

SCORE: 7 newborn-but-already-freakishly-huge, honestly-google-it, newborn lambs out of 10.

1999 -Mr Oizo, Flat Beat

The year of ...Baby One More Time and Genie In a Bottle and the Easter Sunday number one was by Mr Oizo? This song has no words, and I find it very difficult to connect to songs with no words, as I can't make wry references to them in my Twitter bio. Here's an interesting fact though: there's only 25 UK number ones ever that are instrumental-only, and most of them were in the 50s and 60s. This was the most recent instrumental-only number one all the way up to 2013 when Martin Garrix released Animals and I listened to Capital FM all the time so almost lost the will to live.

SCORE: 3 Creme Eggs out of 10

2000 - Fragma, Toca's Miracle

Not a single Easter Sunday number one in the first five years of this list that you wouldn't find on some kind of throwback Ministry of Sound compilation, but I think this one is the best so far. I particularly enjoy how all the women in the video are wearing full hair and make-up for a game of "footie."

SCORE: 7 reduced One Direction Easter eggs out of 10

2001- Emma Bunton, What Took You So Long

The most lyrically appropriate Easter Sunday anthem to date (the disciples on Easter Monday? Anyone?). This is one of the best solo Spice singles and a complete and total springtime banger. Emma Bunton only ever recorded one song better than this, which was 'Maybe'. I was on a night out recently and Maybe came on. I was very excited but sadly discovered that it goes on for just one chorus too long. Nothing is ever perfect.

SCORE: 9 daffodils out of 10

2002 - Gareth Gates, Unchained Melody

The world was very different when vaguely insipid cover versions of songs like this could get to number one. I adored Gareth when he was on Pop Idol. He just seemed like the perfect boyfriend and I took the one soundbite where he said he wanted to get married in a white suit and ran with it in all my ridiculous daydreams. I was gutted when Will won and remember saying to my mum defiantly: "It doesn't matter. Gareth is better than Will anyway. The public will realise. Just you wait. WAIT TO SEE HIS CAREER. WAIT." When this went to number one for FOUR WEEKS(!) I was very excited to have proved myself right. Strange how life turns out, innit?
(Fun fact: this is the only single to have sold over a million copies by three different artists. We can all agree that Righteous Brothers win, mainly because that's the version used in Ghost, and Ghost is like, the best film of all time.) (Ghost is genuinely in the top 5 films of all time). (It's on Netflix).

SCORE: Four stale hot cross buns out of 10.

2003 - Room 5 Featuring Oliver Cheatham, Make Luv

If there is one phrase in the whole world less sexy than "making love" it is indeed, "making luv". I bet some people in the world have partners that say that you know. I bet there is someone in the world today that has received a text saying "let's make luv later xxx". If that person is you, get out before it is too late. 
Anyway, this song is quite good though, especially by your "basic dance song that you'd probably go home during if it came on at 1.30am" standards.

SCORE: 7 people that have been freezing all day as they mistakenly thought that it being spring meant they could go out without a coat on out of 10.

2004 - McFly, Five Colours In Her Hair

We've spoken before regarding the fact in the mid 2000s McFly were my main purpose of existence, so therefore it is very difficult for me to look upon their early singles with anything other than rose-tinted nostalgia. I still feel that this song is however, an objectively fantastic debut single that is just full of brilliant hooks and always puts a big smile on my face. Fun fact: this song was written about "Sooz" from the TV show As If. The actress who played Sooz is now in the Royal Navy. The question is: did the middle 8 she couldn't take the fame line subconsciously influence her at all? If there was a song about you, you'd want it to be 100% about your life, right? I guess we'll never know.

SCORE: 9 ridiculously overpriced Hotel Chocolat Easter Eggs that businessmen buy their secret lovers out of 10

2005 - Tony Christie feat Peter Kay, Is This The Way to Amarillo

This was number one for seven weeks(!) and the best selling single of 2005(!). Because of certain personalities included in the video it makes for very uncomfortable viewing. Fact: although this song is listed as "featuring" Peter Kay, it is actually just a rerelease of the original 1971 hit by Tony Christie. The song, as a whole, whilst not being my cup of tea, is inoffensive.

SCORE: 5 underrated Lady GaGa Easter-themed underrated classics out of 10

2006 - Gnarls Barkley, Crazy

Easter Sunday happened to fall within Gnarls Barkley's nine-week reign in 2006 and for the second year in a row the Easter Sunday number one was the biggest selling song of the year. As I'm sure everybody remembers, this was the first number one to ever reach number one via downloads alone, so a very important song for Music History. Crazy is one of those songs that nobody ever chooses to listen to as it is constantly played ALL THE TIME but we must remember that it is still, to be honest, a "great track". Little bit of chart trivia for you if you like this kind of thing: this song was physically deleted from the charts as the record label wished for people to "not get sick of it" (well done with that everyone) and as the rules of the time meant that songs could not remain in the charts more than two weeks after deletion, this song was the most rapid exit from the chart ever for a former number one. 

I'm sorry if you thought that was boring but the fact I remember stuff like that is why people at work fight to get me on their pub quiz team.

SCORE: 8 evenings spent rolling on the floor staring at the ceiling following eating too many Mini Eggs out of 10

2007  - Beyonce & Shakira, Beautiful Liar

I've never been a huge fan of this song as I just don't feel it really goes anywhere. Both Beyonce and Shakira look amazing in this video which cannot be denied but the chorus feels like I could have made it up myself and don't get me started on the "Beyonce, Beyonce, Shakira, Shakira" bit. 

SCORE: 4 controversial Madonna videos out of 10

2008 - Duffy, Mercy

A song for your mum to dance to at a wedding disco if there ever was one. 2008 was when I went to university and I accidentally fell into unrequited love with someone who, amongst many other sins, was a Duffy fan. I've never forgiven her for it. Sorry.

SCORE: 3 content North Wests following a successful Easter Egg hunt out of 10

2009 - Lady GaGa, Poker Face

Surely one of the very greatest songs of all time. I would have liked to see GaGa be like The Fame era forever, although I suppose it would have robbed us of Judas, everyone's favourite Easter anthem. I cannot find fault.

SCORE: 12 disciples at the Last Supper out of 12

2010 - Scouting For Girls, This Ain't A Love Song

Scouting For Girls get a lot of stick but I saw them live once and you know what? I enjoyed it. However, they very firmly belong in 2007 and this song was, in no uncertain terms, a disaster for all concerned. 

SCORE: 3 undercooked lamb joints because everyone's had a little too much Prosecco out of 10.

2011 - LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem

To be frank, I don't care what anyone says. This song is a TRIUMPH and is guaranteed a strong reaction from me if it comes on on a night out. I'm a sucker for basic lyrics about having a "good time" (I've had several side eyes in my time for my appreciation of a certain Owl City ft Carly Rae Jepsen anthem) and this also has a killer breakdown. So well done to everyone concere.

SCORE: 9 desperate searches for an Easter themed item as I'm running out of ideas out of 10.

2012 - Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

In future, we shall embarrass our children dancing to this at wedding discos. However, it will all be worth it. What a slice of pop perfection and it was so nice and faintly reminiscent of the late 90s to have a song do well that just didn't take itself too seriously. 

SCORE: 10 resurrections out of 10

2013 - PJ & Duncan - Let's Get Ready to Rhumble

In 1994, this song reached number 9. This song was resurrected from the tomb of pop history in 2013 to be Ant and Dec's one and only number one single. A true parable for modern times. Of course we can't deny the entire song is a complete disaster and the only thing worth remembering about PJ and Duncan was the iconic paintball incident.

SCORE: 2 famous Leonardo Da Vinci works of art out of 10

2014 - Mr Probs - Waves (Robin Schulz remix)

All Number Ones at this time of year should get you excited for the summer and this is no exception. However, my summer will probably mainly take place at Tooting Bec Lido, which I fear is not quite what "Mr Probs" had in mind. I expect I would go home if this came on at 1.30am on a night out and I was tired.

SCORE: 6 double kisses of betrayal on each cheek out of 10

2015 - Jess Glynne - Hold My Hand

This song is very shrill and the verses are much stronger than the chorus. In fact, given that Jess Glynne was involved in Rather Be, this is all in all a let down. It's not without merit though,and I'm pleased for her she's now got a solo UK Number One. A mild well done, everyone.

SCORE: 6 Ascensions out of 10

Thank you if you saw it through to the end of this ultimately fruitless exercise which pretty much achieved nothing. Until next time, chart fans!

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