Happy Birthday Harry Styles


Harry Styles is 21 today. 21! On my own 21st birthday What Makes You Beautiful had recently premiered. Surely this means that me and Harry are in fact aging at different rates? Anyway, this is some ways that the 'Directioners' of Twitter decided to celebrate Harry's day of birth.

1. Harry used to work in a bakery but now he doesn't

When I was sixteen, I would have traded EVERYTHING to work in a bakery, because I worked at Subway. For several hours a day as a legal minor I would have to endure endless streams of "and will it be a six inch or footlong for YOU, love? Wheyyyy!" I would get home from work and however many times I washed my hair I would could never clean away the stench of marinara sauce. I didn't even have my own Subway hat as our branch didn't have the budget for us each to have our own. We had to share. Once a woman asked for sweetcorn on her sub and changed her mind then expected me to pick out EACH INDIVIDUAL PIECE OF CORN. I did it. She asked for lite mayo. I gave her full fat.

Anyway I guess my point is if when you were sixteen you did literally any other job and/or earned a penny more than £3.30 an hour for it then I have little sympathy for YOU my friend and that includes Harry Styles, who by the way joined One Direction about four minutes after turning sixteen so never experienced the pain or character-building experience of working twenty hours at Subway in a week so he could afford the boots he wanted.

2. Let's have a look at Harry's individual body parts

Harry's hands: 8/10
Wrists: 6/10
Feet: 3/10

3. Harry used to be a child but this is no longer the case, Photoshop ensues

So the 'can't believe he grew up' tweets start off pretty tame. (I deffo know which of the below two parties I would rather be at, but I'll let you make up your own minds for yourselves).

One can only imagine that one day the next tweet will be used for some sort of Mount Rushmore affair outside his famous bakery.

The below is literally a photo of Harry Styles hugging his child self (let's all keep a careful eye on the space-time continuum for the remainder of today).

Finally, I warn you to skip past the next photo if you have any kind of sensitive disposition as it is extremely distressing.

4. Existential crises

If you people think this is bad try being 24 and remembering people once being horrified when you said you fancied Harry Styles and now it's all just par for the course.

Fandoms of teenage girls obsessed with boyband members may seem strange but I look upon them with fondness. I cannot forget that once I was a fourteen year old girl who called up Invicta Radio twenty times in one day requesting All About You by McFly. I actually dread to think the horror that could and would have unfolded if I had Twitter myself back then.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY. Let's remember Harry is the greatest member of One Direction and that several of Taylor Swift's greatest songs are inspired by the James Dean daydream look in his eye. Thank you Harry, for your amazing singles discography and certain-to-be-excellent future solo career.

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