TEN YEARS AGO: 2005 top 5

19:44

GOOD EVENING ALL!
I was cross with myself for missing 10 Years Ago Vs Today last week and breaking a 23-week run (what am I doing with my life?) but sadly, believe it or not, I was actually 'busy'. Luckily for all four of YOU, I cleared an entire day this weekend to tidy my room and clean my house, meaning you can expect two to three thousand words on each song.
SO WELCOME to the first Ten Years Ago vs Today to focus on 2005! IT'S TIME! TO FACE! THE MUSIC! AND IRRELEVANT PERSONAL ANECDOTES!

TOP 5 TEN YEARS AGO - 8TH JANUARY 2005

5. ICE CUBE FT MACK 10 & MS TOI - YOU CAN DO IT (Up from number 6)





I would like to think that taking a week off this project would mean that some 'variety' would be introduced but sadly we only have one new entry I haven't analysed to death previously in this entire 2005 top 5. I suppose no one cares about good new music in January because workout playlists are difficult enough to fully commit to making as it is. I would just like to briefly comment on the shoddiness of selection of this YouTube 'freeze frame cover photo thing'. You think 'they' ('they' being the powers that be at EMI Music) could have at least chosen a photo where the protagonists of the video are not mid motion so look a little less like aliens mid-morph.


SCORE: 7/10

4. RONAN KEATING FT YUSUF - FATHER AND SON (Down from number 3)




Yusuf is 29 years older than Ronan 'Old Father Time' Keating, so technically the 'father and son' narrative could actually work. Think about Ronan Keating and how old he has been for the past, what, seventy years and remember this: he is still only thirty seven years old. He was twenty seven years old when Father and Son came out. He was SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD when  Love Me For a Reason came out. Normally watching music videos makes me feel old, but after thinking about that I realise that time, is, truly, all relative.


3. KYLIE MINOGUE - I BELIEVE IN YOU (Up from number 4)



I can never decide if I like the johnlewisificated 'bank advert' version of this or if it is a total abomination against music. Usually my theory is that "good acoustic cover" is an oxymoron but a few months ago I got COMPLETELY OBSESSED with this Chanel advert feat. Gisele Bundchen, the sexy rockstar music producer from Nashville and Lo Fang who is some lush Aiden Grimshaw lookalike covering 'The One That I Want'. Since then I have essentially been repeatedly proven wrong. To be honest most of my aversion to the acoustic has come from this utterly blasphemous cover of I Knew You Were Trouble by Tom 'Heretic' Odell. Genuinely the worst thing I have ever seen.

First review here.

SCORE: 9/10

2. BAND AID 20 - DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS? (Down from number one)


All I can say is this: what kind of SICKOS buy a Christmas song IN THEIR DROVES so it still manages to get to number two in JANUARY!?!

First review here.

SCORE: 7/10

1. STEVE BROOKSTEIN - AGAINST ALL ODDS 





A few months ago I was sent an advance copy of Steve Brookstein's book. This was, and make no bones about it, the absolute peak of this blog's existence and I doubt it will ever reach those dizzying heights again. After being sent this book I wrote a review of it here.

There would have been two things that would have been very easy for me to do, and I'm not going to lie to you, I considered both of them.

1. Absolutely tear the book to complete shreds with the hopes of getting a lot of retweets out of it and a lot of people who I know a bit who hate Steve Brookstein to like me more. 
2. Absolutely fawn over the book and declare my fandom of X Factor cured in the attempt to get an X Factor winner to like me and get a few retweets off him and his fans.

However, instead, I decided to be true to myself and approach my writing like I approach everything I ever write: write the exact contents of my own head. (I can assure you that my internal thought process mainly contains random caps and often divulges off into random personal anecdotes). I posted the review, a few people liked it, TRACY ANN OBERMAN AKA CHRISSIE OFF EASTENDERS (!!!!!!!!!) said it was 'very funny' (!!!!!!!!!!!) but Steve continued to ignore it despite his constant tweets at the time about how he was fed up no one was talking about his book. After days of badgering, here's what Steve had to say about my review.


Much as in real life I casually (not casually) drop my academic success into conversation at literally any chance I get (STILL looking for a way to fit the fact I got straight As into a tweet next A Level results day without it being obvious) - I'm not going to do it on this blog here today. However, rest assured, I'm pretty sure that I am mentally capable of understanding an X Factor winner's autobiography ghostwritten by a man with this website. One may suspect that Steve did not know how to address a situation where someone was too nice about his book for him to dismiss as "trolling" but a little bit too critical for him to agree as "fair". 

SO THEN! THE SONG! Shall we see what Steve himself had to say about it?

"No disrespect to Phil Collins, but I didn't want that to be any kind of musical legacy. I had hated the Mariah Carey and Westlife version. I didn't want this track damaging me, and when I heard it o the radio, despite what I might have said to all the DJs up and down the country in promotion, it made me churn."

Imagine being Steve Brookstein and slagging off Mariah Carey and Westlife. (Westlife are amazing, by the way). Anyway, I have two options here.

1. Rank this a zero and gleefully like a joyful and evil hyena tear apart each insipid layer of it bit by bit
2. Rank it a ten and praise every single individual second of the recording just to annoy Steve because he appazo hates it so much

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO? Vote:


What should I do for my review of Steve Brookstein's hit debut single 'Against All Odds'

Give it a zero

Give it a ten

Force myself to listen to it ten times a day every day for a week then write an honest opinion of what I actually think, complete with enthusiastic caps and personal anecdotes

'Other' (please comment)


SCORE: TO BE DECIDED.



TO CONCLUDE
You may have noted this isn't a real Ten Years Ago vs Today as I haven't bothered with 'today'. Well, I think I'm going to change the way I do these posts. Last year they were taking up a lot of my time and I found people tended to enjoy my writing more when I spent fifteen minutes bashing fingers to keyboard being passionate about Wetherspoons rather than spending about three-four hours a week trawling through a bunch of songs I'd already reviewed forty times. So I may alternate the weeks so one Sunday I'll do ten years ago, and the next today. Or I might not. I'll do what I want. It's my website. I am actually really interested in what people would want to read so feel free to tweet me your views on this.

PEACE AND LOVE AND JOY TO YOU ALL. xxxxxxxx

All the information for 10 Years Ago Vs Today comes from the Official Charts website.

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