Do the people in the Talk Talk adverts have the X Factor?


When we talk about the X Factor perhaps we should remember more often that Talk Talk TV spent a reported THIRTY MILLION POUNDS to add ten second clips before every one of the estimated 45 segments our typical 2 hour Saturday night show is divided into. I'm sure we're all familiar with the 'Mix Off' videos featuring people from across the nation lipsyncing to a choice of six different songs using holographic video effects. Well, we all know the power that merely lipsyncing a song can have - a story I've told many times over the past month is that I only 'got' Bang Bang by Jessie, Ariana and Nicki following watching it be lipsynced by a drag queen - so why not take a look at these people in their own Mix Off videos (called 'idents' in the TV industry, I'm told) and decide if they, indeed, have the X Factor?

I have taken a random sample of videos from the 54 clips currently available on YouTube. I'd do them all, but we've all got lives to lead. 

Edgar, Philly and Charlotte -  Ghost

Often in the X Factor auditions the judges are faced with a group with a clear standout member and Edgar, Philly and Charlotte are no exception. From the very first second Edgar gives the lipsync his all and includes some appropriate finger waggles. Philly and/or Charlotte come in too late with the "river to pray" motion and clearly drag Edgar down. The last of Philly and/or Charlotte to appear in particular looks like she's halfheartedly dancing with her boyfriend's mad aunt at a party having only had half a glass of wine.

VERDICT: Edgar, if you ditch the girls, you're through to Boot Camp.

Rebecca - Fancy 

Rebecca knows that all it takes is a good gimmick to get on TV, so has donned a full face of skull makeup (fun fact - this is what I look like BEFORE I put on my makeup). I admire her persistency to lipsync Fancy as indeed a corpse would sing it, but I feel it was the wrong song choice. Fancy is about living in the fast lane which it is difficult to fully commit to as a dead person.

VERDICT: I'll put Rebecca through as a joke act, but if she doesn't show us that she can be a real popstar WITHOUT the make-up at Boot Camp she's going no further.

Daisy - Royals 

Daisy only has five seconds but she proves if you've got the X Factor five seconds is all you really need. Her slightly bored delivery of "royaaaaalllls", complete with eye-roll, is spot on and I enjoyed the fact her video took place across different backdrops. In fact I preferred this to the actual Lorde - Royals video. Daisy clearly fully understands pop music and I would implore her to audition for the real X Factor next year.

VERDICT: *Pause*........Daisy, you've got four yeses. *You Raise Me Up kicks in*

Sister Francis and Sister Aquinas - Happy

Everyone loves a happy nun. I don't know which of Sisters Francis and Aquinas is which but the one on our right is clearly going for it and despite the fact I'm pretty sure we've all been numbed to any kind of emotional response to this song since early January I found myself wanting to clap along with the nuns because happiness is the truth. However, I need to put my sensible judging hat on and I'm not sure if there's a place for a pair of nuns in today's top 40, although the commercial appeal of a Christmas album by these two is undeniable.

VERDICT: I guess it depends on whether the producers want me to go with my gut or whatever we feel we could make the most money, as there's definitely some viability here.

Barney, Sarah and Bernie - Dibby Dibby Sound 

This is my least favourite song of the year 2014 and when I am listening to it I wonder if it is my least favourite song ever (although it obviously isn't, as Real To Me by Brian McFadden will continue to exist and haunt me throughout my living days). This song is the reason I stopped listening to Capital FM despite my radio competition addiction. I don't know why you would choose to lipsync to this rather than literally ANYTHING ELSE but there you go.

Verdict: It's a no from me.

Robert - Money on My Mind

Robert's wearing a checked shirt, has questionable facial hair and looks like he would take a long time to text me back so obviously I really fancy him. Anyone who's ever seen me mention Sam Smith ever will know I'm not a fan and I'm not blown away by this, but I guess more above average looking white men in their 20s singing midtempo soul songs is exactly what X Factor needs so I'll put him through to Boot Camp I suppose.

Verdict: It's a very tentative yes but Robert - I mean this - next time I want you to bring a little bit more star power. I can see during your "do it for your love" hand movements you've GOT that potential, and next time I want to see that through the WHOLE ten second clip. 

Woody - It's Like That

Woody's clear natural enthusiasm and performance ability will put him straight through to Bootcamp. but I have one word of advice: I'm not fond of an artist that relies on a prop. It may only be one wig for now, Woody, but be careful or one day you'll wake up, look in the mirror and realise you're Lady GaGa.

Verdict: It's a yes from me,.

Little Mix - Salute

Little Mix are granted a generous 16 seconds to do their bit, and clearly show why they are the best X Factor winners ever - check Jade's facial expressions especially (Jade is the best Little Mix member) (and I'm proud to say at the age of 24 I'm finally able to pick a favourite member of a pop band that isn't just "the one that looks most like me"). This song, by the way, is TEN out of TEN and it should have been number one for 20 weeks.

VERDICT: Winners etc well done gold stars all round.

I'd also like to add before I conclude this review I thought I'd record my own X Factor Mix Off video to prove my own judging credentials. Despite the fact I do not have the budget for props that some of these Talk Talk stars have had, I took it in my stride and even put on some purple lipstick especially for the task. However, I was horrified to note that, although for my whole life I've assumed I look amazing lipsyncing in clubs, I am completely unable to lipsync in time. Let us hope that it was just my webcam delay or my future career dreams of having my own Vegas residency are ruined. 

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