10 Years Ago Vs Today

23:41

Apols for the poor punctuality of the post this week. I'm sure you all spent your Sunday evenings desperately refreshing for the info. Sadly I have been very busy, believe it or not. God, I have become one of those people. Isn't it annoying when you open a blog and someone's apologising for not blogging for ages as if you care? Anyway, here it is now. ENJOY.

TOP 5 10 YEARS AGO - 6TH NOVEMBER 2004

5. KHIA - MY NECK, MY BACK (LICK IT)




Much as I must go with my readers' original vote on this for statistical reasons and it does kind of make me want to go out, in the cold light of 10.40pm on a Monday night as I type this sentence I am feeling that it's a little crass for my taste. Call me old-fashioned but at times I don't like it when songs are crass. Several perfectly good Katy Perry songs have been ruined for me by overly literal metaphors.

Three weeks ago, I was confused and opened the song to a reader vote.

SCORE: 8.5/10

4. JAY SEAN - STOLEN (New Entry)


This midtempo anger anthem is very early 2000s and has 0.004% of the YouTube views of Jay's biggest hit, Down (which is completely amazing, by the way). Unfortunately for some, Jay's second single Stolen is mostly forgotten and I'm very surprised it made it into the top 5. I don't really have much to say about the song itself - it's pretty lazily written, based around Jay's love interest having stolen - wait for it - you guessed it - HIS HEART, but I have a few things I'd like to say about the video. AHEM.

So during the video, Jay, our protagonist, heads to some kind of film premiere with his girlfriend. "It's my big night tonight," she opens with. Jay IMMEDIATELY snaps back with "Yeah. It's always YOUR big night. It's always YOUR film launch. It's always about YOU!!!!" like a stroppy child. Cut to them arriving to said swanky event and as his girlfriend cheerily signs autographs and chats to fans he PHYSICALLY GRABS HER AND DRAGS HER AWAY ("It's crazy, I hope you feel my pain, you stole my heart"). As the girlfriend has fun at this event and speaks to her friends Jay sulkily stands in the corner necking champagne. Then - no wait - this really happens - Jay is approached by an alternative lady and reacts by leading her off to a supply cupboard to get up to GOD KNOWS WHAT(!!!).

This is the worst music video we have had on 10 Years Ago vs Today since Brian McFadden - Real To Me. It is genuinely one of the worst music videos I have ever seen. I cannot empathise with Jay. We've all been there, haven't we? We've all been with someone who just won't let us celebrate our own successes, who hates it when we are out and talking to people who aren't them, who physically drags us away from people who are interested in our company. And hopefully for most of us it never got this far, but the real icing on the cake is that the protagonist is depicted as somehow justified in using OUR SUCCESS as a reason to CHEAT ON US!! (In a CUPBOARD no less!!).

So, to conclude, I didn't like the video much.

SCORE: 4/10. 

3. DANIEL BEDINGFIELD - NOTHING HURTS LIKE LOVE (New Entry)


 


The music video to this isn't on YouTube (which is probably for the best given my high blood pressure following watching the last music video I was unable to recall details of) but please enjoy this wonderful lyric video I found which really underlines Daniel's despair (lots of pictures of people sitting around in dark black and white rooms hugging their knees). If you hadn't guessed from the title, this song isn't exactly the most cheerful and there are lots of dramatic wails of "FLAAAAME", but somehow the lyrics still read as if they were written by a thirteen year old who's best mate got off with the boy they fancied at the bowling alley. I'll tell you what though, at that age nothing WILL bring your heart so much pain. The song itself is okay though. Very Bond theme. I'll allow a 6.

SCORE: 6/10

2. ERIC PRYDZ  - CALL ON ME (Down from number one)


I'm very pleased to say this song has now finally fallen from the number one spot for good and my days of hopefully never writing about it again are approaching. Luckily ten Novembers ago  the public were realising that no one sees the point of going to the gym right before the Christmas period, no matter how skimpy the leotards and textured the hair.


SCORE: 4/10


1. JA RULE FT ASHANTI & R KELLY - WONDERFUL (New Entry)


It's a shame these kind of mid-tempo R&B jams really aren't as popular anymore as they were in the early 2000s, as they definitely have value in the pop landscape. However, we cannot deny that this is not a PATCH, I repeat, not a PATCH on the Ja Rule ft Ashanti magnum opus, Always On Time. In fact, I'm going to head over to listen to that now. In the meantime, I'd like to draw everyone's attention to the bizarre fur-trimmed kaftan Ashanti is wearing in the Wonderful video (set on holiday somewhere nice). 



SCORE: 7/10

TOP 5 TODAY (WELL, SUNDAY) - 09/11/2014

5.  TAYLOR SWIFT - SHAKE IT OFF (Down from number 3)


Well, I could write about this for the twelfth time or I could just put the Blank Space video up in here. 


This video is an unquestionable 10/10. It is easily Taylor's second best video, and probably her first best (but I don't want to rush ahead of myself as You Belong With Me is pretty much my favourite video ever.) Blank Space is, too, a 10/10.

However, Taylor had to appease the masses with her lead single I suppose, and that is what we are here to discuss today. It remains above average.


SCORE: 8/10

4. JOHN LEGEND - ALL OF ME (Up from 26)


Although this was in the top 5 for ages a while ago, that was actually before I started doing these weekly blogs (did such a time exist?!!) so this is the first time I have offered my thoughts on All of Me by John Legend. Well, it's a lovely song, isn't it? It's very basic, but we must remember just because something sounds like it was written with constant reference to the This Would Be A Good First Dance textbook it doesn't mean it isn't good. I take issue with one lyric in this song though: "Even when you're crying you're beautiful too". John has obviously never seen his love interest when they've been a little hysterical. A half-hearted sob over Marley and Me doesn't cut it.

PS if anyone ever writes a song like this for me (form an orderly queue, lads) I'd like it to mention how good I am at making playlists.

SCORE: 7/10

3. MEGHAN TRAINOR - ALL ABOUT THAT BASS (Down from number 2)


As this song declines in popularity and impacts less and less upon my daily life I find myself liking it more and more. It definitely did deserve a 7, really. Also, to be honest, in one of my more personal sentences to date, I hadn't been having the best self-esteem day today and suddenly I put this on and realise that really I look fine! Which is always great, right?


SCORE: 5/10

2. ED SHEERAN - THINKING OUT LOUD (Down from number 1)


Just double checked my Facebook relationship status and unfortunately I can confirm Ed Sheeran still isn't my boyfriend. I will never ever stop being furious with myself for swiping left. Ever. Look! I'm perfect for him! Oh well, his loss. It's not like he's out being rich and famous right now and I'm listening to his song on a Monday night and trying not to sob into my lemon squash.


SCORE: 8/10

1. CHERYL (Mononymous) - I DON'T CARE (New Entry)


This song sounds like it was written in a board meeting, By a group of aliens. That had just had the concept of music explained to them by a class of eight year olds. Later that day an abandoned flipchart spider diagram was found in the boardroom with phrases such as "SWEARING = COOL". However, I still like it quite a bit actually. (Certainly a lot more than Crazy Stupid Love). The chorus does encapsulate that feeling when you've been stressed and upset about something for so long and then one day you wake up and realise that You. Just. Do. Not. Care. Now I could make a really obvious joke about Cheryl and her attitude towards her music career now, but I'm not going to.

NB: I'm sure anyone who follows the charts at all will be aware that this single has made Cheryl a RECORD BREAKER as the British solo female artist with the most number ones. Poor Geri. When this song is inevitably still in the top 5 next week, we shall discuss.

SCORE: 7/10


THE RESULTS!!!
Top 5 10 Years Ago: 29.5/50
Top 5 Today: 35/50

Today wins AGAIN!!!!!!

Until next week, chart fans! xxxxxxxxx

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