10 Years Ago Vs Today

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Top 5 10 Years Ago - 16th October 2004

5. DURAN DURAN - (REACH UP FOR THE) SUNRISE (New Entry)


Who knew? Certainly not a fourteen year old me, but Duran Duran did indeed score a top 5 single in 2004. It's interesting this managed to pass me by, as at the time I was very aware of Duran Duran due to the extensive use of their song 'Notorious' in what at the time was my favourite film: Donnie Darko. (It is no longer my favourite film for several reasons, merely one of which being I can't watch anything with Jake Gyllenhaal in without thinking that Taylor Swift wrote All Too Well about him). (Reach Up For The) Sunrise was the first Duran Duran single since 1985 to feature all five original Duran Duran band members. And I mean, the song's okay, but I've listened to it four times now and still can't hum the chorus when I switch it off, which isn't a great sign is it? It does make me feel fairly pumped whilst playing though, so I'll award it a generous six.

SCORE: 6/10

4. KHIA - MY NECK, MY BACK (LICK IT) (New Entry)


This will be my fourteenth edition of 10 Years Ago Today (yes, really! And doesn't it seem like just yesterday you laboured your way through the very first post?) and to date I have never found a song as much as a dilemma to rate at this one. For me, My Neck, My Back is one of the very rare songs that exist in the world that I cannot decide if they are amazing or terrible. Picture the scene: it's a typical Saturday night, I'm in some gay club somewhere, My Neck, My Back comes on, of COURSE I'm gonna go mad and drop it like it's hot! Unfortunately, somewhere within the murky depths of my brain I am not sure whether I actually like My Neck, My Back or I just love it when it comes on a night out because it is just SO terrible it is funny. 

I mean, let's look at the evidence. Have I ever, once, in the entirety of the past ten years, until writing up this review, decided to play it of my own accord? No. However, have I ever, once, in the entirety of the past ten years, not fist pumped when it came on during a night out? No. 

This is why readers, I need your help today. The wonderful Flic has suggested that I embed a READER POLL into this post and elicit all your views!
How good is My Neck, My Back (Lick It) by Khia?
Completely perfect and amazing (10/10)
Amazing, TUNE, etc (8-9/10)
Yeah it's good (6/10)
Meh, not a fan but no strong feelings (5/10)
It is pretty bad (3-4/10)
It is completely awful (1-2/10)
It is one of the worst songs ever recorded (0/10)
Poll Maker
Please vote ASAP and in a week's time I will take the average of the opinions of all four of my readers as the official score for the week. In the meantime, the totals of this week will not take into account My Neck My Back and I will PROPORTION THINGS so the totals will remain fair. 

3. RACHEL STEVENS - MORE MORE MORE (New Entry)


Unfortunately the music video for More More More is not on YouTube so we will have to make do with this live performance, which makes me very nostalgic for a simpler time. Imagine someone performing their new single on X Factor and spewing that out these days? ANYWAY. More More More is a cover of a 1976 Andrea True 'classic', and went on to outchart the original by two places. Perhaps my opinion of this song is slightly coloured by the fact I myself had to deal with the greater success of a cover version of my work this week, but never fear, I have been in touch with the writer and he's assured me it's a coincidence. Anyhow, yeah, this song isn't great and the cover doesn't add anything. I think most of the reason that Some Girls is so, so amazingly good is that Rachel has, to quote Ana Matronic, "the personality of a piece of toast" - unfortunately this only works for a very special kind of song and More More More isn't it.

Score: 5/10

2. ERIC PRYDZ - CALL ON ME (Down from number 1)


The poor people of 2004 were granted a lucky one-week reprieve from this at the number one spot, but (spoiler alert) it wasn't long before it climbed again. One may wonder why Call on Me was slightly less popular for this one week. I had a look at major world events of the week and am none the wiser, but I suppose it would have been coming up to half term and every thirteen year old boy needs to take a break to do his homework once in a while. 


SCORE: 4/10

1. ROBBIE WILLIAMS - RADIO (New Entry)


Now, I LOVE Robbie Williams. I'd go as far to say he's probably in my top ten all time artists. This was the launch single of his 2004 Greatest Hits compilation, which I remember very well as I ostensibly bought it for my mother for her birthday before listening to it in secret all the time. It wasn't cool to like Robbie Williams for a fourteen year old in 2004. However, I remember once triumphantly handwriting a list of my top 100 songs of all time and deciding that finally I wasn't going to care what they all thought and Supreme WAS going to go down as my second favourite song of all time. (Bizarrely I think I chose Live Forever by Oasis as number one, but this was all a long time ago).

Anyway, back to the song itself. This is pretty subpar as far as Robbie Williams singles go (No Regrets? Supreme? Come Undone? Feel? The man is a legend) and I rarely play it nowadays, so I'm a bit disappointed this is the first Robbie single I've come up against as I can't justify giving it more than a seven. This was Robbie's last number one until Candy, fact fans! Candy is also, by the way, amazing.

SCORE: 7/10

Top 5 Today: 19/10/2014

5. JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE & NICKI MINAJ - BANG BANG (Down from number 2)


Jessie J performed a solo version of this on the X Factor this weekend. I normally find live Jessie J performances incredibly stressful to watch but I was very pleasantly surprised and it was pretty much the best Jessie J performance I've ever seen (probably including when I saw her live, which is a pretty big deal because I normally like live music More Than Anything Else In The Whole World). I think Jessie proved that Ariana 'Form Captain' Grande, although providing some much needed good lipstick to the video, is otherwise surplus to requirements. 

SCORE: 9/10

4. ED SHEERAN - THINKING OUT LOUD (Up from number 10)



Set the scene. March 2014. Girl of 23 sits alone in her room watching Coronation Street and flicking through Tinder ad nauseum. She's watching Tina and Peter and wondering when and how it's all going to go wrong and not really paying much attention, and absentmindedly swipes left to a ginger tattooed guy "Ed, 23".

Sits up bolt upright. It's okay, right? Surely Ed Sheeran's older than 23? He's definitely older than me, isn't he? I mean, of course?

No, actually, he's six months younger than you.

But it's FINE. Ed will be like, touring in America or something, right?

No, actually. Tonight he's doing a Teenage Cancer Trust gig about four miles from your house.

But I'm sure ED SHEERAN doesn't have Tinder? It CAN'T BE HIM?

No, actually. He's said in EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW he apparently EVER DOES that he LOVES Tinder. 

Look, it's going to be fine. It probably wasn't him, and I know it would be a good way to have met Taylor Swift, but you don't even like him as a popstar! It's fine.

No, actually. Flashforward to May 2014 and he potentially releases your favourite British single of the year.

What's even the point of being me? What's even the point? Anyway, back on point, I love this song because I am a sad act who is obsessed with lyrical references to still loving people when you're old. Imagine what I was like at my great-grandparents' Diamond wedding anniversary.

PS: Ed definitely would have swiped right. I had a very misleadingly hot selfie as my Tinder picture at the time. A picture so misleadingly hot that when my housemate saw it he proclaimed IS THAT YOU?!?!

PPS: Long shot I know but Ed, if you're reading this, email me. The photo was still recognisably me, honest.

SCORE: 8/10

3. ONE DIRECTION - STEAL MY GIRL (New Entry)


No video yet I'm afraid, so the audio will have to do. I'm never quite sure how I feel about One Direction. They've had loads of really ace, proper nines and tens out there, but then every so often they release something that feels very "will this do" and Steal My Girl is that. I'm fed up with One Direction's constant lyrical references to girls in jeans. I don't wear jeans very often. GIRLS CAN STILL BE NORMAL AND NOT WEAR JEANS OKAY! Anyway, the verses are good but One Direction often make the mistake of thinking a loud and chanty chorus automatically equals a brilliant one, and guess what, it doesn't.

SCORE: 7/10

2. TAYLOR SWIFT - SHAKE IT OFF (Up from number 4)


Wouldn't be hard to draw a six degrees of separation diagram about the popstars in today's top 5, would it? Anyway, I correctly predicted that last week's X Factor performance would see a new peak for TayTay and here we are. The enduring success of this song is becoming faintly ridiculous.

SCORE: 8/10

It is now EIGHT weeks since my first review of this.  Will this song outlive us all?

1. MEGHAN TRAINOR - ALL ABOUT THAT BASS (Non-mover)


Despite my initial average score, this song is starting to grow on me and I must admit, irritating a song as this is, I still think Meghan's basically a genius for writing THIS aged 20. I've been forced to download it as I was slowly going insane lying awake at night singing this in my head without actually knowing the words, thus hearing "boys like a little more booty to hold at niiiiiiiiiggght" on an infinite loop.

SCORE: 5/10

This is Meghan's third week at number one.



SO... DRUM ROLL....

10 Years Ago (total to be revised following a week of voting on the Khia song);  22/40  (55%)
Today: 37/50 (74%)

So it's another tentative win for TODAY but we'll see how it ends up once my four readers have had a chance to vote on their views for the Khia track. Til next week, chart fans!!!!

xxxxxxx




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