10 Years Ago Vs Today


So we've all got through another week. The X Factor live shows are back on meaning Christmas is surely approaching, EVERYONE I KNOW has a cold (not the least me who has been operating on severe attractiveness deficiency for several weeks now) and everyone's beginning to panic-arrange Halloween plans (I've made arrangements to go for a Lobster Dinner, bizarrely enough). So as I have established it is now officially Autumn, so why not all cheer ourselves up by strolling down 2004 memory lane?

Top 5 10 Years Ago - 9th October 2004

5. R.E.M. - LEAVING NEW YORK (New Entry)

REM. A band for your dad if there ever was one. Interestingly REM always remind me of when I did work experience in Year 10, which I'm pretty sure was almost exactly ten years ago to the month from now. I did work experience in a primary school and once as all the children came into assembly they played Shiny Happy People by REM. "This is so bad," I thought to myself. "This is so, so bad." I wonder what Ofsted would have said? 

Anyway, I had literally no recollection of this song whatsoever so had to give it a spin on YouTube. I became so bored about 40 seconds in I went on a thought tangent about whether I should change my Twitter name to match my blog name for the purposes of Branding. I then went ahead but kept the old one too so I'll see how it goes. So you can go off and follow me at @gonetodeadlock now if you want. Anyway, the conclusion is this song was so boring I'm struggling to finish this review of it without going off point. I bet Sam Smith loves REM you know. I bet he really loves them.

Score: 3/10. 


Let's get two things straight:

1. It is very sad that if Ashlee Simpson was only going to have one top 5 UK hit it was this and not La La, which is an absolute 10/10 banger that I still listen to all the time. JUSTICE FOR LA LA. 
2. We cannot let our bitter feelings about La La only charting at number 11 colour our opinions of Pieces of Me, as it's still fairly amazing.

The chorus to this is completely brilliant. I am pleasantly surprised that this song made the Top 5 as it's very unashamedly POP. The song's also about when you first start dating someone and get completely obsessed with them, which is obviously a really good topic (it's currently going really well with me and my boyfriend Dominos Pizza, thanks for asking.) The one thing we must ask ourselves however, is this: can we imagine Ashlee Simpson reaching the Top 5 with this single in 2014? I can't actually, which makes me quite sad. Especially as I can definitely imagine All About That Bass getting to number 1 in 2004.

Score: 8/10 


It's once again generic-dance-song o'clock over on Gone To Deadlock but I enjoy this dance song more than most. The hook is actually pretty good and I wouldn't mind it playing in the montage of my life where I lock eyes with a handsome stranger in a club (i.e, order a Dominos pizza and stare at it lovingly for a minute or two before beginning to eat it). The Generic Dance Song test over at Gone to Deadlock is whether you would go home if it came on at a club at 2.20am and you were tired. Well you know what? I wouldn't. So well done Deep Dish (I swear the concept of pizzas is stalking me).

Score: 7/10


Now. I'm a sucker for any old shit if it would make sense in the context of a funeral (I spend most of my life pretending to be really cynical and bitter whereas anyone who actually knows me will be aware I have my grandparents' wedding photo as my lock screen and get tearful even thinking about Marley and Me). Erego, I know objectively this cover of a Lee Ann Womack classic is a little basic, but it did make me feel emotional and I enjoyed listening to it. Here's the lyrics if you fancy a moment of quiet reflection. The proceeds of this single went to Breast Cancer Care which is nice.

PS: Now we've had that moment of quiet reflection let's have another one around the fact that despite appearing sixty five in this video and having been a constant presence in the lives of anyone under the age of fifty since birth, Ronan is still only thirty seven NOW. He was TWENTY SEVEN YEARS OLD when this song came out. I'VE LITERALLY DATED PEOPLE OLDER THAN THAT. Mind actually blown.

Score: 7/10

1. ERIC PRYDZ - CALL ON ME (Non-mover)

It was a long autumn in 2004 as this song clawed on to the number one spot for yet another week. This is why I do not and will never understand straight men. Some women get in a leotard and drag towels all over their intimate areas and we get the very WORST kind of Generic Dance Song hit number one for the THIRD WEEK IN A ROW? DOES SOMEONE WANT TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME? As I am genuinely all ears.

This was first number one two weeks ago.
SCORE: 4/10

Top 5 Today - 12th October 2014

5. JEREMIH - DON'T TELL EM (FT. YG) (New Entry)

(This song doesn't have a video it appears, hence the audio clip).

When I first listened to this song I did think that it was a bit of a jam, I enjoyed the Rhythm is a Dancer interpolations (even if Bastille did it better) and I could definitely see myself enjoying it in a club at 12.45am. However, then I had a look at the lyrics. The following are presented without comment.

SCORE: 4/10

4. TAYLOR SWIFT - SHAKE IT OFF (Down from number 3)

This song still will not die it seems and I'm all over it. I wouldn't be surprised if next week it hits a higher peak following Taylor's X Factor performance (vocals 4/10, outfit 9/10). I've not got much additional to say, so I'll just add this. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but anyone who doesn't think the chanty bit of this song is the best bit by miles is only Wrong. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shake it to the fella over there with the hella good hair. Let's just hope he has the right Taylor Swift opinions.

SCORE: 8/10

I first reviewed this song a ridiculous seven weeks ago (which is also going to show how scarily quickly being 24 is going). 


When I first heard this song I thought it was nothing more than a nutter cackling over a skipping Sir Mixalot record but god, do I now get it. Whereas on one hand do we have All About That Bass, a song about having a big arse being okay, on the other hand we have Anaconda, a song about having a big arse being HOT and OWNING IT. I can say I'm not sure if I've ever heard a more empowering lyric in my life than "he can tell I ain't missing no meals". We can also agree that the video to this song is completely amazing. However, Nicki briefly messes it all up for herself by bringing up the "skinny bitches" again. One day I want there to be a song about having a big arse being amazing without shaming other body types. One day.

PS: I have been thirsty as hell to hear this on a night out since the original video release and I STILL HAVEN'T. Can we all Pray For Abi this week as I deserve to show South London what I've got (ludicrous dance moves I think look really hot at the time). 

PPS After several years of being apathetic about Nicki Minaj following my extreme excitement re: Pink Friday, I am properly, properly excited again. We're all going to pretend Pills and Potions didn't happen.

SCORE: 8/10.


Good week for Camp Minaj - I think this is the first week since I've been doing this (which is beginning to feel like most of my life) that I've had two of the same artist in one top 5. Anyway, what can we say about this song apart from the fact it remains amazing? I still haven't heard this in a club since the now famous night I saw a drag queen lipsync it, but I would really like to mouth "I'll let you have it" at someone fit. Oh well, I guess I've still got this pizza. 

SCORE: 9/10


So in last week's Top 5 we had a feature from Fleur 'I used to be in Addictiv Ladies but don't mention it' East, and this week here we go again!

The performance was okay, if a little flat, but personally as a woman of a size 12 I found it quite offensive for another woman to prance out singing "I think it's pretty clear I ain't no size 2" before essentially grating cheese on her abs ready to serve to the audience. All the right junk in all the right places indeed. 

SCORE: 5/10.


Top 5 10 Years Ago: 29/50
Top 5 Today: 34/50

So the winner is AGAIN today so I would suggest 2004 steps up its' game. Until next week, chart fans! 

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