10 Years Ago Vs Today

09:52

I know the four people that read 10 Years Ago Vs Today were probably upset to find that I abandoned it in favour of writing about Wetherspoons on Sunday, but never fear as I cannot be kept away from the Official Chart Archives for too long.

Top 5 10 Years Ago - 25th September 2004

5. JOJO - LEAVE (GET OUT) (down from number 4)




I find this image quite stressful to view as it reminds me all too strongly about what I thought was okay to wear in 2004. I had a vest top exactly like that with the slogan "I'm sweet". ?!?!


SCORE: 10/10.

4. NELLY - MY PLACE/FLAP YOUR WINGS (Down from number 2)




Romantic 'Flap Your Wings' lyric of the week:
She wanna fly south for the winter. I might just go down south just to win her.

Romantic 'My Place' lyric of the week:
We never had a problem getting it done. We disagreed on a lot, ma, but the sex wasn't one. 

AVERAGE SCORE: 6.5/10

3. GREEN DAY - AMERICAN IDIOT (New Entry)



Let me get this out of the way before I start: What. An. Album. The album American Idiot has a good three or four songs that are 10s. Oh, the times I would listen to Whatsername thinking about Lozenge Boy and imagining he would sing it about me! (Me and Lozenge Boy still do not know each other's names, but I'll find an excuse to mention him every week until we're reunited). Oh the times I would, and still do, listen to Holiday and think of my X Factor performance during Rock Week! (As in all of my fantasy Rock Week performances, I'll be dressed as a cheerleader).

However, I'm not that keen on the song American Idiot itself. American Idiot is your friend on Facebook who always writes statuses along the lines of "You shouldn't vote!!! They're controlling us!! They're all the same! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!" American Idiot is an anthem for every 33 year old man that acts 17 on Earth. American Idiot is Russell Brand.

Song's okay though I guess, but could have done with a proper middle 8.

SCORE: 7/10

2. GIRLS ALOUD - LOVE MACHINE (New Entry)


I really love this song - obviously, as it's a Xenomania/Girls Aloud track, so who wouldn't? It's nice to see a song so PURE POP in the top 5 sandwiched in between women lunging all over the place and men hollering at a flag. I really love the lyric "what will the neighbours say, this time?" as it is a reference NOT ONLY to the album title BUT ALSO the "neighbours banging on the bathroom wall" in Sound of the Underground. Self-referential lyrics are THE BEST. Anyway though, this song is great but I kind of blame the video for making fourteen year old me thinking that one day having a "girls night out" might be fun and not completely horrifying.

SCORE: 9/10


1. ERIC PRYDZ - CALL ON ME (New Entry)


Spoiler alert for anyone who may have been living in a cave in 2004, but we're in for another long, long haul of trying to draw content blood from the basic early 2000s dance song stone.

I could try and comment on the song. The okay, if repetitive tune. If this song came on at 2.20am and I was tired, I would leave. But no one cares about the SONG when we talk about Call on Me, do they? We all know what we are really here for, which is the ladies in leotards rubbing themselves and lunging and wiping towels places towels shouldn't have to be wiped. It's odd to think that getting a number one single is really that easy, but unfortunately that is the world we live in and it's still happening today. So the song's okay, nothing to write home about, but I really resent the video as it's transparent crap like this getting to number one for a frightening number of weeks that makes people say that all chart music is rubbish.

SCORE: 4/10.


Top 5 Today (well, Sunday) - 28/09/2014

5. LILLY WOOD & ROBIN SCHULZ - PRAYER IN C (Down from number 3)




So I've only just finished thinking of something to type about Call on Me and the Basic Dance Song Illuminati have ONCE AGAIN kept a track in the charts? To be fair, this song is starting to grow on me but I can't imagine even slightly enjoying it 'in the club'. One thing I'd like to point out about this song is the surprisingly dark lyrics for a song basically specifically remixed to be played during a water polo competition at a two star hotel in Magaluf: And see the children are starving and the houses were destroyed, don't think they could forgive you. Christ. 

Find the original review five weeks ago, although this is the most words I've manage to get out of it yet.

SCORE: 6/10

4. CALVIN HARRIS FT. JOHN NEWMAN - BLAME (Down from number 2)


Here's a short version of a long story. I really, really fancied Calvin Harris when I was 18. Yes, I know, everyone fancies Calvin Harris now, but back in post -'Acceptable in the 80s' 2008 it was pretty niche. I got myself a job as a promo girl for Fabric (!) purely because of my deranged (reasonable) belief that if I managed to be in the same room as Calvin Harris for a few minutes I'd end up getting him to fall in love with me. I managed to get free tickets to a night he was DJing and because of my ridiculous 'connections' got an invitation to go backstage and meet him at 5am. HOWEVER, the bloke I had brought along as my plus one wanted to leave at 3am and offered to buy me chips and suddenly I realised I actually fancied him instead. So I left and never got to meet Calvin Harris and just THINK of the chart success I would have had by now. So, the moral of the story is, I do NOT blame that on the night, I blame it on the guy who bought me chips who I last saw four years ago (who also, believe it or not, didn't like Wetherspoons. Lesson learnt.)

First reviewed two weeks ago.

SCORE: 7/10

3. TAYLOR SWIFT - SHAKE IT OFF (Up from 5)


I wish I could continue my stories of hearing this song Whilst Out and About, but I have not actually heard this song outside of the repeated plays in my own iTunes and Spotify all week. (I did get to hear a questionable acoustic cover of I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys whilst at the pub the other day though). I can say however with all honesty that with every week that passes I love this song a little bit more. On Monday I had a bit of a rubbish day and whilst listening to this song I decided that rather than get down and out about all the liars and the dirty dirty cheats of the world I'd spontaneously head out and get down to the sick beats of none other than KYLIE MINOGUE. I then saw one of the best gigs of my life, felt better and that, as they say, is the power of music.

First reviewed the song five weeks ago (get that longevity Tay Tay).

SCORE: 8/10.

2. SIGMA FT PALOMA FAITH - CHANGING (Down from number 1)


This song is so completely massive and brilliant and the more I listen to it the more I love it. Anyway, it's been a while since we've featured a YouTube comment written by a joyless knob over on Gone To Deadlock, but I just couldn't resist having a crack at this:



Regardless of the fact I wonder if Kindle, who has a stick so far up his own arse I can only assume he must be some kind of musical genius who moonlights as a brain surgeon, would be able to sing or produce this half as well as Paloma Faith or Sigma - if this song IS a product, what does it really matter? If I'm sitting listening to this song and get joy from it, does it matter if someone only wrote this song so that I would, you guessed it, buy it and enjoy it? I'm sorry if you think the only reason I buy a "happy song" is because I feel sad ("for good reason"), but I may actually just like it because it is good and makes me want to dance. And I'm not entirely sure the happiest people spend their days listening to George Ezra on repeat.

I first reviewed this song last week.

SCORE: 9/10.

1. JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE & NICKI MINAJ - BANG BANG (New Entry)


Like many of the best songs, I did not "get" Bang Bang until I saw it in the flesh lipsynced by a drag queen. But god do I now get it. One of those songs that is a kitchen sink racket in the VERY BEST way and a well deserved number one for all concerned (and Nicki's first, can you believe it?!). I'm not going to give this a ten for two reasons:

1) I don't know what else you can expect when you put Jessie J and Ariana Grande on the same track, but at certain times it gets a little hollery;
2) The line "She might have let you hold her hand to school but I'mma show you how to graduate" is DISTRACTINGLY creepy.

The video also isn't great; I wonder why they went to so much effort throughout the video to portray the illusion these three women had never met before actually having a group shot anyway at the end.

To conclude, the best part of this or arguably any other song in today's top 5 is "B to the A to the N to the G to the HEYYYYYYY".

SCORE: 9/10


SO..........DRUM ROLL:

Top 5 from 10 Years Ago: 36.5/50
Top 5 Today: 40/50 (Best mark we've had for any top 5 yet!)

So another winner for Today's music this week, but to be fair this top 5 was VERY strong. A little fact for everyone... Meghan Trainor's All About That Bass made chart history this week by reaching number 33 on the charts on streaming alone, making it the first ever song to get into the top 40 on just streaming - given this week is its physical release and we can fairly assume it has a more than decent shot of getting into the top 5, do we have a MINI-THINKPIECE ABOUT BODY IMAGE next week on the cards?! (I, believe it or not, used to be a fitness blogger so I have some opinions on the topic).

Until next week, chart fans!
xxx

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