10 Years Ago vs Today


Top 5 10 Years Ago - 28/08/2004

5. THE STREETS - DRY YOUR EYES (Down from 4)

Sobering barrel-of-laughs Dry Your Eyes YouTube comment of the week:

I cropped out this guy's name which is probably more than he deserves. I don't know if it's so much that they didn't hoodwink him than the fact that nobody wants to date someone who likes The Streets.

This is this song's FIFTH week in the top 5... go back here to see its' original appearance.

SCORE: 4/10

4. BUSTED - THUNDERBIRDS/3AM (Down from 3)

So does everyone remember last week when I said one of the top 10 celebrities I'd most like to meet would be Charlie Simpson? Well, I have been dealt a card by fate.

UNFORTUNATELY, I will be at work at this time and be unable to attend. Thus I am looking for blog reader volunteers to do one of the following:

1) Don a fabulous wig and pretend to be me
2) Through a series of comedy capers, keep Charlie Simpson in the building until 6pm when I will be able to get there

ANYONE UP FOR IT??? If so, hit the contact me page over on the right and GET IN TOUCH.

Oh yeah, and I originally reviewed the songs 3 weeks ago.

SCORE: 8/10


The thing about songs that are 'satirical' is that they are almost always a musical abomination. This song is no different. Not enjoyable to listen to, not funny. NEXT.

SCORE: 2/10. 

2. 3 OF A KIND - BABY CAKES (Down from number 1)

It's strange that this song isn't gaining more prominence in pop culture given the popularity and controversy following Great British Bake Off last week. I would personally support a Diana-based Babycakes remix. Given that 3 Of A Kind recorded this song the day they met and never recorded again (a brilliant fact if I do say so myself) surely they're not up to much else and are willing to get involved? Why not do my famous investigative work and see what they're up to now?

Liana Caruana just got a new fish.
Nicholas Gallante  likes to retweet Liana a lot (and not much else).
Marc Portelli uses the word 'sick' a lot.

I'm pleased to announce that in my ongoing quest to find people that had top 5 hits in 2004 or who came last in X Factor that have less Twitter followers than me, I now have three new names for the list. (UPDATE ON THIS MISSION: I have overtaken Kimberley Southwick and am 32 followers away from matching Emily from Bad Lashes.)

Baby Cakes was first written about last week.

SCORE: 3/10


I can get behind any popstar mental enough to release a song called "I Wanna Have Your Babies" and Natasha Bedingfield is no exception. Now, I love songs about songs (songs that refer to songs, songs that refer to other people's songs, and most importantly, songs about having a song on repeat) and this is no exception. This song describes Natasha's difficulty in writing a good love song that will sell. There are some BRILLIANT pop lyrics in this - "Read some Byron, Shelley and Keats, recited it over a HIP. HOP. BEAT". "I love you, is that OK?". The "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU" bits are just crazy enough to get away with being more endearing than annoying. Well done Tash.

FACT: This song made Natasha and Daniel Bedingfields the first brother and sister to each have their own UK Number One.
FACT: Natasha > Daniel.

SCORE: 9/10

TOP 5 TODAY: 31/08/2014

(Down from number 2)

My quest to hear this on a night out is still unfulfilled. Perhaps I should stop going to Spice Girls themed nights and drag shows if I want to hear the cool kids' music.

Nico & Vinz first appeared three weeks ago (God my life is moving too quickly).

SCORE: 9/10.


Unlike Am I Wrong, I have had the pleasure of hearing Shake It Off on a night out, which was absolutely completely amazing, particularly the chanty bit (which is definitely the best). However, after two weeks living with this song in my life, I am pretty comfortable concluding that it is the worst Taylor Swift lead single. But perhaps as someone who dropped a casual £200 on Taylor Swift merchandise at the O2 in February before following her mum around the O2 arena, I am not quite objectively qualified to comment.

Shake It Off was first in the chart last week.

SCORE 8/10.


Ray Liotta is in this music video. I really like the film Goodfellas, you know. People always look at me and think I will have bad taste in films. Perhaps they think this because my Netflix still hasn't stopped recommending me films because I watched the Bratz Movie, but I watch films that the cool people watch too.

PS The Bratz Movie is amazing. Please listen to this song immediately. It contains the lyric 'M-m-m-MySpace! I have 10 million friends."

'On point' this song was first in the chart last week.

SCORE 7/10

2. MAROON 5 - MAPS (New Entry)

I really, really, really like this. There is a lyric in this song: "I'm searching for a song tonight, I'm changing all the stations" which hits me like a freight train (although as already mentioned, I do tend to obsess over songs that refer to other songs.) When I looked up this song I wasn't at all surprised to see Ryan 'God' Tedder co-wrote it; it's so well-written and structured and the "I'm following the map that leads to you-ooooooh" bit is A*. The video to this is a bit heavy involving Adam Levine cheating on his girlfriend and her dying in a car accident (!?!) but it was worth a watch for me just so I could confirm what I suspected the other day, that I definitely fancy Blake Shelton more than Adam Levine.

SCORE 9/10. 


I don't get it. It's not that it's bad or anything. I mean listening to it wasn't offensive and I suppose it's quite nice and summery (just in time for September). But why is this a number one single? You know when you're on a night out, and your feet are hurting and  you're tired but every song is BANG a tune and OH GOD that's my jam and OH YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW, but you say to your friends (and promise your feet) "I will go home at the next meh song?"

This song epitomises that meh song. Maps should have been number one.

SCORE: 6/10.

DRUM ROLL........... THE RESULTS....

Top 5 in 2004: 26/10
Top 5 in 2014: 39/10

2014 just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it? Anyway, until next week, chart fans. My sources (i.e. information easily available in the public domain) tell me there's a strong possibility that there will be one artist straddling both the 2004 AND 2014 top 5s next week, which is exciting isn't it? (Well, to me, it is about 4/10 Exciting).


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