10 Years Ago vs Today


The Top 5 10 Years Ago - 17/07/2004

5. GIRLS ALOUD - THE SHOW (Dropped from number 2 previous week)

I have loved Girls Aloud ever since they first won Popstars the Rivals and I decided to tape myself singing Sound of the Underground acapella and mime to the tape whilst performing a dance routine. I feel The Show is oft-looked over when people reel off their list of favourite Girls Aloud songs - it would definitely be in my top ten. "Should have fluttered my mascara like a butterfly" is an amazing lyric. This is one of many songs I have listened to too many times that I strongly suspect is about anal sex. The video's a little cheap and they've all looked better but the beauty salon theme is fun and most of all they all look like they're enjoying it.

SCORE: 8/10.


I could remember the existence of this song but was unable to hum it until I watched the video. The chorus to this song is atmospheric, amazing, a great one for driving along country roads I reckon (I'll get back to you on that once I've managed to pass a driving test). The verses drag. Especially during the first verse I was willing on Will to hurry up and get it over with. I don't think this song is very well remembered in the public consciousness which is a shame as it really has "100 Best Chill Anthems" and a promotional Mother's Day sticker written all over it. The video is interesting, beginning with Will learning to swim with armbands on joined by a bunch of young kids and ending in him (spoiler alert) winning an Olympic gold medal and crossing the channel. I actually found this video quite offensive as when I was 12 I had to do extra swimming lessons with some other kids in my class who couldn't swim properly. It was an utterly humiliating and harrowing experience. None of us went on to become Olympic gold medallists.

SCORE: 6/10.


Elvis' very first commercial single, originally released in 1954, was re-released in 2004 to commemorate the sixty year anniversary. I recently made a playlist of one number one from ever year from 1954 to 2014 for my great-grandmother's birthday party (ANY excuse to make a playlist) and throughout the 50s was floored by the fact Elvis appeared to be the only artist at the time making any effort. No wonder he was so massive, who else was around for people to stan for?! The song's okay, not really my cup of tea but it's not bad. (Note: it's strange thinking that it used to be normal for songs to be two minutes long). Unfortunately, this was before the era of the music video so on this I am unable to comment. FACT: Rolling Stone once argued this was the first ever rock-n-roll record. If so, thanks Elvis, we owe you.

SCORE: 5/10.

2. BRITNEY SPEARS - EVERYTIME (Up from number 3 previous week)

I don't even have any words to do this song justice. One of the greatest pop ballads of all time, and definitely one of Britney's best songs. It almost feels like a lullaby or a nursery rhyme in its' simplicity but still cuts through me like a v. expensive knife. I don't even know what to say about the video except that it is even more dark and disturbing watching it in hindsight than it was when it was released. Well done Britney - gold stars all round.

SCORE: 10/10 

1. USHER - BURN (Second week at number 1)

A fairly easy listening 'slow jam' that bizarrely enjoyed huge success upon release, topping the Billboard chart for 8 weeks and managing 2 weeks at number 1 over here. I don't feel this song has aged well - the spoken word intro is cringeworthy beyond belief and I'm not really sure what would ever inspire me to choose to listen to it. Still, it can't be denied, Burn definitely has an above average chorus. The video is a fairly standard Usher affair of scenes with him having 12A sexual relations with his lover intercut with STUFF BEING ON FIRE. One of the 'stuff on fire' is a HUGE PICTURE OF HIS EX-LOVER'S FACE, which is just a little creepy if you ask me. 

SCORE: 5/10.

Top 5 Today: 20/07/2014.


This is one of those songs I cannot understand why anyone would want to listen to more than once. I know, I know, I'm not the target market for such "real music" mastery but how on earth has this managed to sustain a position in the top 5 for so long? I hear more engaging and more melodic music from the average acoustic pub singer. I've watched the video once and already forgotten how the song went, but I suppose it was fairly pleasant if you wanted it on in the background so you could succumb quicker to anaesthesia. The video involves Our George in a huge crowd of people standing around and then crowdsurfing. How much do you think those extras were paid? INTERESTING FACT: according to his his Instagram George Ezra is a fan of both Rita from Corrie and Miley Cyrus, so we'd probably actually be really good friends.

SCORE: 4/10.

4. ELLA HENDERSON - GHOST (Down from number 3 last week)

I was never a fan of Ella on X Factor, and all I'd heard from her since was when she did a predictable turn as Emeli Sande's part in Beneath Your Beautiful when Labrinth did the Capital FM Summertime Ball last year, so I was utterly flabbergasted in the best possible way when she came back with surely one of the greatest X Factor contestant debut singles ever. Now we all know Ryan "God" Tedder was involved which can't have hurt, but Ella just sells the "I KEEP GOING TO THE RIVER TO PRAY" bit so hard which I cannot fault her for. This single deserves all the success it has had and I'm excited to hear her album when it arrives, although I do fear we may have a bit of a Emeli Sande first-single-amazing-rest-of-album-Adele-inspired-drivel situation. The video's okay, but I do wish Ella was involved with the actual (unclear) storyline rather than just prancing about in motels and up and down roads with good hair and flattering lighting.

SCORE: 9/10. 

3. WILL.I.AM AND CODY WISE - IT'S MY BIRTHDAY (Down from number 1 last week)

It's lowest common denominator shit like this getting to number 1 that leads people to write off top 40 music, I'm afraid. When I first heard this song I was initially excited as I am always looking for new songs for my Birthday playlist (songs about birthdays, currently standing at 18 minutes at length, which must be pulled out circa the cake at any birthday celebration). I'm struggling however to find much else to redeem about the basic lyrics or casual misogyny floated about. What I cannot deny however, is that if this came on in a club, I would definitely lose my shit, especially if it was, in fact, my birthday. (Next month, fact fans, so I stand a chance of hearing this right?). The video involves Will.i.am and Cody getting up to all kinds of hijinks most of which involves half naked women, but you know, it's their birthday, at least it's a laugh etc.

SCORE: 3/10.

2. ARIANA GRANDE FT. IGGY AZALEA - PROBLEM (Non-mover from last week)

I did not care much for this song on first listen, but it has undoubtedly become a grower. I find myself often muttering "I want you-hoo-hoo!" as I go throughout my day and if I listen when on public transport, someone is going to be frightened as I lip sync "I got one less one less problem" to them with peak Ariana Face. I am beginning to find myself going full circle with Problem however, as the horns do at times grate. The video is a great concept but not very well executed. How have they made Iggy Azalea, a very attractive woman, look like Ariana's mum chaperoning the Sixties-themed Sweet Sixteen party? The question on every person's lips however, is this: what does Ariana look like when she is not doing the doe-eyed Lolita look? Has anyone ever seen? Will we ever know?

SCORE: 8/10


Since my early teens I have tended to lap up any old crap if it's being served to me by a teenage boy band playing guitars, and Me and My Broken Heart is absolutely no exception. This song is completely amazing even if it appears to actually be about nothing. The delivery of "me AND my brokEN heart" is spot on. Now, I've been streaming this song and enjoying it all week long, but only delved into the mystery of who Rixton are and what they look like since yesterday. Well, as I'm sure everyone who is reading this knows, and as I am very embarrassed NOT to have known, the lead singer of Rixton, despite sounding really sexy and hot and my heart leaping when I discovered he was 21 and not 16, is the son of Shane Richie and Coleen Nolan. I knew this information before I watched the video, which may have coloured my experience, but throughout the entire vague plotline of the boyband being "scammed" by "beautiful women" I was hyper aware that this singer looks EXACTLY like Shane Richie. At points I wondered if Shane Richie was ACTUALLY guest starring in this video as his son was unavailable. Anyhow, that's all by the by as the important thing to remember is that I hope Shane Richie and Coleen Nolan realise that with his debut single their son has outranked both of their entire discographies.

SCORE: 9/10. 


A victory for Nostalgia today as 2004 is marked the winner! Very interesting fact: I actually wrote this prior to now based on the midweeks which I then had to shuffle around following the official chart release (no one ever got to see my amazing Muller rice joke). Based on the midweeks we would have had a very different result today, everyone. Tune in again next week to see if once again 2004, the year Real To Me by Brian McFadden reached number one, will be victorious or 2014 will at last be triumphant. 

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